Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so let's talk penis.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize