Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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