Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize