if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
