You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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