so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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