you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
