Small penises have feelings too.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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