? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
