hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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