this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
