suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
