Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Panties = found
Randomize
