i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
