Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
