she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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