I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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