Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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