Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
