he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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