I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
