i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
