In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
