she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did we literally take a cab across the street
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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