I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
only if we run a train.
done.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
