Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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