if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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