you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
