I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
