How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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