i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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