Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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