I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
