I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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