the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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