no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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