people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
