My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
