Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
