ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
