you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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