You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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