I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
