grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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