In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize