420 ftw
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
