i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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