Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
