we have officially lost it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
