i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
