Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
