I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
