Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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