i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
