DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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