it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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