I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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