Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We had to coat check the pizza.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
