i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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