Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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