YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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