Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
