I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
