Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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