I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
